no eres tan guapo

como para ser tan tonto

~

pensar a solas

me angustia
y me hace mal
pero a veces solo quiero
sentarme en el pollete
y mirar

canciones de Keane
algo que ayude a acabar
un par de beats por allí
y otros cuantos silencios
para terminar

en la Sierra de la verdad
vengo a desconectar
de palabras y más allá
vacía
salgo a la Luna a volar

un vacío intermitente
separa las horas inertes
de disparos en la frente

me empiezan a preocupar
me angustian
y me hacen mal

~

(dis)appointed

ouuu dead end street
nadie nunca me dijo
"no te metas por ahí"
y ahora no puedo salir

hay luces de colores
un sofá y muchas flores
but before it does begin
the party seems to be over

apetece y me desplomo
decúbito prono
I'm convenient, babe, 'cause
I'm an organ donor

te apetece y emborronas
te resulta y te acomodas

~

(cuando conducían los demás)

confiada y somnolienta,
iba de noche escuchando
el jingle de una emisora
en el asiento de atrás:

las noticias de Onda Cero,
cabeceras de programas
apoyadas en ventanas,
y un murmullo de nostalgia
a falsa seguridad

casi como en otra vida,
entre luces de ciudad
y espigas de caja rural
uno se quiere aferrar
al recuerdo que se tiene
porque nunca va a cambiar

soñando, que no durmiendo,
con que el viaje no se acaba
y los pitidos de la Ser...
me devuelvan a mi cama.

imagino que ahora creo
que todo ese tiempo fue mío,
que el camino se estiraba
juguetoso entre recuerdos,

para convertirte en uno
y asi poder recrearse
cuando ya no estemos juntos
y se se-
paren los mundos

~

Rambling thoughts on alleged transphobia and the censorship of neo-language

• Being a social construct, gender is taught and instilled since birth, based on the arbitrariness of our genitalia. This is a fundamental truth. Gender is NOT a feeling and it DOES NOT fluctuate depending on the moment. Gender is how one was raised and is all about the internalised ideas.
• On the other hand, sex is NOT a choice. Let’s get this clear once and for all: it is a tangible, material reality. Also, sex is binary – despite all the idle, ill-defined attempts to refer to intersexuality as a justified claim that it isn’t. In fact, it’s somewhat offensive to see how a congenital anomaly in the reproductive organs is used as an excuse to uphold their untenable assertions. It’s more than self-evident that this has got not to do with the transgender movement.

Whether we like it or not, socially, we are read as a normative (wo)man or as a faulty (wo)man. That is, basically, how everything we know works within this gender-based framework. Strictly speaking, it could be stated that we all suffer from gender dysphoria on a spectrum, because no-one fully conforms to every single aspect of the stereotypical division of genders. Nobody meets these expectations, from neither the feminine nor the masculine perspective. To show a certain degree of non-compliance regarding gender therefore becomes, at the very least, and understandable output. This being said, could genital reassignment really be a decent approach to this?

Ok, I get it. It might well work as a temporary patch. But, is it even a good thing for those experiencing it? I have solid reasons to believe it’s not. By doing this, the only real outcome would be the perpetuation of the gender roles, instead of trying to defy them. It’s a losing game in which you accept that you do not adjust to what you are supposed to, so you dissent your actual biological sex to fit a morbid mould. What’s more, it’s not so likely to succeed being entirely ‘read’ as the gender you’d like to identify with, not even after the transition and the hormonal treatment – so the whole problem remains for those undergoing this medical process. Also, assuming that your disconformity will be solved once your sexual characters change is profoundly sexist and chauvinistic, as that means ascribing biased and simplistic stereotypes to the other sex.

The narrative of the ‘wrong’ body departs from an incorrect premise. There is no such thing as a ‘blue’ or ‘pink’ mind. Essentialisms aside, we ought to focus on gender performativity instead. Taking into account that this dysphoria is utterly cultural, radical feminist theories support the abolishment of gender itself, especially considering the amount of pain that the constraints of preestablished roles bring. This, of course, requires a much more profound change.

Beyond how you might perceive yourself, if anyone can apply this self-determination of gender at will, what are we to do with concepts like gender-violence? Just look the other way? This undeniably leads to neglecting women’s rights and intrinsically weakens the feminist agenda. It is nothing but another form of misogynist violence, and as it normally happens, targeting women. Trans women haven't had to experience any of that. So... yeah, I guess I'm fed up of having to be seen as a 'cis', 'childbearing' or 'menstruator' woman. I’m a proud TERF that, after all, supports those who feel ill-at-ease with their bodies. Mind you, only after turning 18 years old and after a fully professional psychological study that helps that person in terms of well-being. Let them be happy, never forgetting that feminism will not be able to help them in their struggle, because it is a diametrically opposed view to current queer theories that promote the reproduction of gender roles.

~

here it comes, old age

to move my tongue, it hurts
my head, its lifespan ends

i have loved you all and loved you well
peace in my heart and i say farewell