no eres tan guapo

como para ser tan tonto

~

pensar a solas

me angustia
y me hace mal
pero a veces solo quiero
sentarme en el pollete
y mirar

canciones de Keane
algo que ayude a acabar
un par de beats por allí
y otros cuantos silencios
para terminar

en la Sierra de la verdad
vengo a desconectar
de palabras y más allá
vacía
salgo a la Luna a volar

un vacío intermitente
separa las horas inertes
de disparos en la frente

me empiezan a preocupar
me angustian
y me hacen mal

~

(dis)appointed

ouuu dead end street
nadie nunca me dijo
"no te metas por ahí"
y ahora no puedo salir

hay luces de colores
un sofá y muchas flores
but before it does begin
the party seems to be over

apetece y me desplomo
decúbito prono
I'm convenient, babe, 'cause
I'm an organ donor

te apetece y emborronas
te resulta y te acomodas

~

(cuando conducían los demás)

confiada y somnolienta,
iba de noche escuchando
el jingle de una emisora
en el asiento de atrás:

las noticias de Onda Cero,
cabeceras de programas
apoyadas en ventanas,
y un murmullo de nostalgia
a falsa seguridad

casi como en otra vida,
entre luces de ciudad
y espigas de caja rural
uno se quiere aferrar
al recuerdo que se tiene
porque nunca va a cambiar

soñando, que no durmiendo,
con que el viaje no se acaba
y los pitidos de la Ser...
me devuelvan a mi cama.

imagino que ahora creo
que todo ese tiempo fue mío,
que el camino se estiraba
juguetoso entre recuerdos,

para convertirte en uno
y asi poder recrearse
cuando ya no estemos juntos
y se se-
paren los mundos

~

Rambling thoughts on alleged transphobia and the censorship of neo-language

• Being a social construct, gender is taught and instilled since birth, based on the arbitrariness of our genitalia. This is a fundamental truth. Gender is NOT a feeling and it DOES NOT fluctuate depending on the moment. Gender is how one was raised and is all about the internalised ideas.
• On the other hand, sex is NOT a choice. Let’s get this clear once and for all: it is a tangible, material reality. Also, sex is binary – despite all the idle, ill-defined attempts to refer to intersexuality as a justified claim that it isn’t. In fact, it’s somewhat offensive to see how a congenital anomaly in the reproductive organs is used as an excuse to uphold their untenable assertions. It’s more than self-evident that this has got not to do with the transgender movement.

Whether we like it or not, socially, we are read as a normative (wo)man or as a faulty (wo)man. That is, basically, how everything we know works within this gender-based framework. Strictly speaking, it could be stated that we all suffer from gender dysphoria on a spectrum, because no-one fully conforms to every single aspect of the stereotypical division of genders. Nobody meets these expectations, from neither the feminine nor the masculine perspective. To show a certain degree of non-compliance regarding gender therefore becomes, at the very least, and understandable output. This being said, could genital reassignment really be a decent approach to this?

Ok, I get it. It might well work as a temporary patch. But, is it even a good thing for those experiencing it? I have solid reasons to believe it’s not. By doing this, the only real outcome would be the perpetuation of the gender roles, instead of trying to defy them. It’s a losing game in which you accept that you do not adjust to what you are supposed to, so you dissent your actual biological sex to fit a morbid mould. What’s more, it’s not so likely to succeed being entirely ‘read’ as the gender you’d like to identify with, not even after the transition and the hormonal treatment – so the whole problem remains for those undergoing this medical process. Also, assuming that your disconformity will be solved once your sexual characters change is profoundly sexist and chauvinistic, as that means ascribing biased and simplistic stereotypes to the other sex.

The narrative of the ‘wrong’ body departs from an incorrect premise. There is no such thing as a ‘blue’ or ‘pink’ mind. Essentialisms aside, we ought to focus on gender performativity instead. Taking into account that this dysphoria is utterly cultural, radical feminist theories support the abolishment of gender itself, especially considering the amount of pain that the constraints of preestablished roles bring. This, of course, requires a much more profound change.

Beyond how you might perceive yourself, if anyone can apply this self-determination of gender at will, what are we to do with concepts like gender-violence? Just look the other way? This undeniably leads to neglecting women’s rights and intrinsically weakens the feminist agenda. It is nothing but another form of misogynist violence, and as it normally happens, targeting women. Trans women haven't had to experience any of that. So... yeah, I guess I'm fed up of having to be seen as a 'cis', 'childbearing' or 'menstruator' woman. I’m a proud TERF that, after all, supports those who feel ill-at-ease with their bodies. Mind you, only after turning 18 years old and after a fully professional psychological study that helps that person in terms of well-being. Let them be happy, never forgetting that feminism will not be able to help them in their struggle, because it is a diametrically opposed view to current queer theories that promote the reproduction of gender roles.

~

here it comes, old age

to move my tongue, it hurts
my head, its lifespan ends

i have loved you all and loved you well
peace in my heart and i say farewell

repentant coward

there's always a spot for regret
and there's this lesson
never quite to be learned

It's just me
(I'm no witch)
but you know I see the future
and its yet-to-come bloopers

being just one step away
should've jumped into the pool
there's this knot inside my throat
knowing it could've been full

~

El secreto bien guardado

la marea con su corriente

en la orilla regurgita

burbujitas bien calientes

se evaporan las palabras

y convierten en secreto

una lámpara marrueca

de colores infinitos

imágenes sobrevuelan

proyectandose en el techo

y las chispas centellean

como si fuera un garito

iridiscente y fragmentado

bajo el ímpetu del prisma,

postmodernista y disociado

por una cara y sus aristas

~

12/07/20

¿qué manos 

mecerán sus manos
en el futuro?

¿qué ojos
reflejarán su risa,
afortunados?

¿quién podrá
ser objeto
de sus palabras?

Los lugares, simultáneos,
atestiguan con paciencia
amores descordinados.
~

de según cómo se mire todo dependeEe

La planta necesita tierra
La tierra necesita tu caca
Tu estómago tiró de teta
La moraleja está bien clara

Sin adiós

Hace tiempo
Encontré mi camino en el tuyo
Lo pintaste con el derrame de tu trasero
Sí, jaja, risas

Hace tiempo también que me quedé atrás
Te perdí de vista
Se desdibujó el sendero para dejar un desierto infinito a mi alrededor

Desde allí te buscaba
con los ojos llenos de arena

Las cenizas de tu recuerdo

I wish I didn't exist

a creep
obsessed with inappropriate things
even in my sleep

a monster
never getting over
and way sicker than a zoster

a failure..
dragging chronic, severe deficiencies
with the inability of adequacy

a fraud
writhing on the floor,
suffering from the impostor syndrome

a bore
who only nods
lacking the right words

a burden
without real purpose,
lost and uncertain

~

for I already know

I tell you there's no need
to speak your mind


~

god.. I know myself too well

the less you wanna think about something

the more you think about it
~

not even that

I'm a dumpster
(a grown-up rat)
I'm a monster
and screw things up

I'm apologetic
(like a slug)
antimagnetic
I'm a rug

not even crap
~

CR

the streets that I went
the people I met
the time that I've spent
I'll never regret

the things that you said
the jokes that we shared
the words left unsaid
I'll never forget

no one quite understands
but you'll always be there
~

That was quick!

dignified and

genuine as you are

true to yourself
openly open

caring and
looking after others

fun
authentic
inspiring

~

Estebanco

perdona si chillo:
hay un monstruo bajo la cama
disculpa si grito:
un ogro susurra en mi almohada

me plantea un acertijo
más difícil que un sudoku
imaginarme su tipo
(seguro que no es del Opus)

más de una vez
(la verdad)
me giro a mirar
(sin parar)

es complicado
analizar el delito
me quemo la espalda
reconstruyendo los hechos
~

es un oso embarazado:
un recuerdo soterrado
cierta daga del pasado
que se clava cuando gimes

llevo un monstruo amordazado
del que nunca me he fiado
porta un mensaje cifrado
que quiere que dilucides

tu nariz en su matriz
me hace un poquito infeliz
me quedó una cicatriz
porque tú no te defines

sugiere que fue un desliz
el baile con la lombriz

~

whomever you think of

being the finest of hangovers
it seemed foolish
wanting to get over
those magical superpowers

time stopped.

it l i   n     g        e            r                 e                      d
time _fli^es
with the touch of fingers

I know it's stupid of me
but how I wish things
were always
what they seem to mean
~

estoy ocioso
estoy bélico
me cago en tu vida
no hagas que me ría

pum ¡PUM!
PIIIIIIIMBAAAAAAAA
explosión
que revientes

clonk, clonk, clonk..
TLIIIIIING
clavos
en tu frente

encuentro la fuerza
hoy quiero ser jueza

~

De tarugos horteras
(de clase obrera),
caballeretes
que ven la aurora
desde Albacete.

Millenials
en lista de espera:
una colección propia
de cosas ajenas.
¡Un surtido Cuétara
de gente Deliplus!
ohú

Onanismo colectivo, 

neurodegenerativo. 

Alegres con su bandera: nardos

con vientre de alquiler.

Me cuesta plasmarlo...
afronorteamericanos,
¡constantinopolitanos!
democratacristianos
y buenos samaritanos.

Communing with communism!
you're cool, how rad!
So altruist...the socialist!
Their wax, my tax.

~